"To be his mother"

    A series of glimpses into the life of an addict’s mother

    1

    There is a special term: “co-dependent” people. Simply put, these are parents, brothers and sisters, wives, grandparents and other close, loving relatives of a drug addict. Here I will be talking only about the mother, but I mean them all. The whip that is continuously driving the addict on to his grave, reaches them as well…

    The horrible day has come: the mother learns that her beloved child has become a drug addict. He steals money from home, from the bank accounts; he takes and sells valuables, even his Mom’s ring. 

    Syringes

    “How, he couldn’t!..” He suddenly disappears, returns, then disappears again after a sudden phone call. Day, night, early morning - everything has got mixed up in her home. And constant lies… Even when it makes no sense to lie, he still lies to her. And falling into this black hole, she tries to save everything, and saves nothing. Bailiffs appear in her house because he has gotten into huge debts. And when she fully realizes the horror of his addiction, who is she more afraid for? For him? For younger children who see everything? For an innocent passer-by her son may attack? She has forgotten herself and just wishes to die, but even that she cannot let herself do.

    She desperately seeks a way out in complete darkness, without the slightest hope. Social services, free or expensive rehabs - but he escapes them all. One social worker, looking at her sympathetically, says: “You know, sometimes it helps if you turn him out of the house. Otherwise he will not stop. Think about it... "

    2

    If you are a Christian, you have known and experienced God's love and His power. But this mother does not know God and is deprived of that great mercy that always supports you. She does not know how to call upon Him, cry to Him in prayer, patiently wait for an answer and give thanks for everything. She is alone, thrown into the brutal waves of the chaos of her life. She hides her grief even from her relatives and friends, for this is her shame. It is all her fault (whose else can it be?)! She has raised her son like that, overlooked certain things, worked too much, missed something important... Shame – this is what keeps her from seeking help, and valuable time is lost.

    When her son starts shooting up at home, she finally makes the decision. She tells him he has to leave. Ten days later he comes, stands by the door and pleads her to let him stay just for one night. He is so tired… But she says: “No”… That short reply is the most difficult and painful she has ever given.

    3

    Time passes, but the mother still does not hear anything about her son. At work, she tries to forget her sorrow, but in the evenings, alone with herself, she prepares herself for his death. She imagines how one day a man in the uniform will come and tell her the chilling news, how her heart will stop – and everything will be over.

    But the events take a totally different turn. Her son meets believers on the street. He tells her about them, brings her the Bible and some other books. Something has already changed in him. His eyes must have brightened up. And after a short time they all come to visit: a small group, youth, with a guitar, they are sitting in her living room, drinking tea, talking… And at some point she feels that peace, unearthly peace, enters and fills her heart. Nothing has changed yet, many difficulties still lie ahead, there will be many ups and downs (recovery takes a long time, sometimes years), but the fall of her son into the abyss has been stopped by the loving hand of God and His saving power.

     

    Several words in conclusion

    A faint ray of light appeared in the mother’s life, a hope for her son’s recovery, the straw she could grab onto. But what was in her soul? Old pain, fear, disappointment. And guilt, it probably hurt the most. And then our pastor, Dov, offered us to hold a series of meetings, to create a small group to help mothers of drug addicts find peace and firm hope based on God’s Word. I remember hearing at the very first meeting: “I dare to hope that I understand you as a father. Because I have a seriously ill child at home…”

    These were deep conversations, and the Lord miraculously led us. According to His Word, we learned patience and trust, comprehended the power of prayer, supported and comforted one another. We do not understand everything in this life. It is one of the most difficult questions: “Why did this terrible misfortune befall me and my child?” But the Scripture says: “Trust in Him. Now you are not alone, the loving Lord is with you!” And our fear was going away, and our souls were gradually being healed….

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