A series of glimpses into the life of an addict’s mother

    1

    There is a special term: “co-dependent” people. Simply put, these are parents, brothers and sisters, wives, grandparents and other close, loving relatives of a drug addict. Here I will be talking only about the mother, but I mean them all. The whip that is continuously driving the addict on to his grave, reaches them as well…

    The horrible day has come: the mother learns that her beloved child has become a drug addict. He steals money from home, from the bank accounts; he takes and sells valuables, even his Mom’s ring. 

    Syringes

    “How, he couldn’t!..” He suddenly disappears, returns, then disappears again after a sudden phone call. Day, night, early morning - everything has got mixed up in her home. And constant lies… Even when it makes no sense to lie, he still lies to her. And falling into this black hole, she tries to save everything, and saves nothing. Bailiffs appear in her house because he has gotten into huge debts. And when she fully realizes the horror of his addiction, who is she more afraid for? For him? For younger children who see everything? For an innocent passer-by her son may attack? She has forgotten herself and just wishes to die, but even that she cannot let herself do.

    She desperately seeks a way out in complete darkness, without the slightest hope. Social services, free or expensive rehabs - but he escapes them all. One social worker, looking at her sympathetically, says: “You know, sometimes it helps if you turn him out of the house. Otherwise he will not stop. Think about it... "

    2

    If you are a Christian, you have known and experienced God's love and His power. But this mother does not know God and is deprived of that great mercy that always supports you. She does not know how to call upon Him, cry to Him in prayer, patiently wait for an answer and give thanks for everything. She is alone, thrown into the brutal waves of the chaos of her life. She hides her grief even from her relatives and friends, for this is her shame. It is all her fault (whose else can it be?)! She has raised her son like that, overlooked certain things, worked too much, missed something important... Shame – this is what keeps her from seeking help, and valuable time is lost.

    When her son starts shooting up at home, she finally makes the decision. She tells him he has to leave. Ten days later he comes, stands by the door and pleads her to let him stay just for one night. He is so tired… But she says: “No”… That short reply is the most difficult and painful she has ever given.

    3

    Time passes, but the mother still does not hear anything about her son. At work, she tries to forget her sorrow, but in the evenings, alone with herself, she prepares herself for his death. She imagines how one day a man in the uniform will come and tell her the chilling news, how her heart will stop – and everything will be over.

    But the events take a totally different turn. Her son meets believers on the street. He tells her about them, brings her the Bible and some other books. Something has already changed in him. His eyes must have brightened up. And after a short time they all come to visit: a small group, youth, with a guitar, they are sitting in her living room, drinking tea, talking… And at some point she feels that peace, unearthly peace, enters and fills her heart. Nothing has changed yet, many difficulties still lie ahead, there will be many ups and downs (recovery takes a long time, sometimes years), but the fall of her son into the abyss has been stopped by the loving hand of God and His saving power.

     

    Several words in conclusion

    A faint ray of light appeared in the mother’s life, a hope for her son’s recovery, the straw she could grab onto. But what was in her soul? Old pain, fear, disappointment. And guilt, it probably hurt the most. And then our pastor, Dov, offered us to hold a series of meetings, to create a small group to help mothers of drug addicts find peace and firm hope based on God’s Word. I remember hearing at the very first meeting: “I dare to hope that I understand you as a father. Because I have a seriously ill child at home…”

    These were deep conversations, and the Lord miraculously led us. According to His Word, we learned patience and trust, comprehended the power of prayer, supported and comforted one another. We do not understand everything in this life. It is one of the most difficult questions: “Why did this terrible misfortune befall me and my child?” But the Scripture says: “Trust in Him. Now you are not alone, the loving Lord is with you!” And our fear was going away, and our souls were gradually being healed….

    Renovated Second floor

    By Nina, volunteer from Ashdod

    On the second floor of Aviv Center there is a quiet, cozy spot with several armchairs and a coffee table. Two people can talk here without interference. Usually these are a senior member of a volunteer team and an addict who wants to talk and ask his questions in private.

    We see that for several reasons homeless addicts often do not open up in the presence of others like them. They may come and sit gloomily, just eat and leave without uttering a word. Sometimes it is because of fear, or shame, or the thought "What will they think about me?"… These are the laws of the street.

    But when someone goes upstairs, he finds himself in a world of understanding and sincere sympathy. A volunteer will listen to him patiently. He will not rush things, but also will not hide the fact that the person on the other side of the table is in a very dangerous situation.

    The latter hears: "Make no stay, do not hesitate, because you do not know what will become of you when you leave this place." Indeed, the chilling truth is that the addict may not survive this night.

    “There is a way to salvation!” – says the volunteer. And sometimes the addict starts crying as he has not cried in a long time, and he is not afraid that others will see him and make fun of him.

    Someone is already making a call, informing a rehab center that a new guy is coming.

    “Come on, they are waiting for you!”

    And shortly afterwards they go to the car together. The first right step has been made – away from the deadly abyss.

    By Nina, volunteer from AshdodIMG 20190301 WA0005a

    Having learned about the ministry, my unbelieving friends, husband and wife, started giving us clothes for the street people. The clothes are accepted with gratitude, because the need for them is great. For the addicted and homeless boys and girls it is a means to both get warm and put on something clean. It is also a natural desire of any person – even when he or she has fallen to the very bottom of life – to remain looking like a human being.

    Shoes are even a more serious problem. The sizes are different, and the addicts’ legs are often covered with painful wounds. One day I asked two rehabilitants to pass a pair of good shoes to Aviv Center. They were going there the next day. They looked at the shoes - and understood they needed them too... But I heard them say to each other: “No, our sister sends them to Aviv Center and this is where we shall bring them”. It was amazing to hear that, because on the streets these guys left only a while ago, not just your shoes could be taken from you, but your very life. But now for those two rehabilitants “old things have passed away and all things have become new”!

     

    In Aviv Center

    Every day believing volunteers come to Aviv Center. They are from different cities, different churches, and they arrive at different times – whenever they can, because everyone has work, many have got families, and it also takes time to get from their homes to Aviv Center.

    I, Nina from Ashdod, arrive on Fridays. There are always three or four of us in the team, no less. One needs to stay at Aviv Center to meet those who come in, to talk and to listen to them, to serve them a meal. Meanwhile other two or three team members go down the street, to the abandoned garages nearby, to find homeless addicts there – to bring them something to drink and to call them to come to Aviv Center to eat and dress their wounds. On the second floor there are shelves with the Bibles in different languages: Russian, English, Arabic and Amharic. I’m going down with a Bible in my hands, and suddenly one girl downstairs, very young and “on high”, sees the book and whispers: “Let me just touch it, I haven’t seen a Bible for so long!” When we have prayed with her, she takes the Bible and says: “What a great day today!” - and she thanks God “for this meeting.” And Sasha, one of our team members, turns to us and says: “It is for the sake of such moments that we come here!”

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